Before you can embark on the romantic adventure of your dreams with The One, you’re likely to experience more that a few bad days. Sometimes you’ll know something is off from the moment that meet your date in person for the first time. Occasionally though, a first date with a hot crush quickly progresses to date 2 or 3, and then fizzles out unexpectedly.
While it’s frustrating, disappointing and upsetting to put yourself out there time and time again, for little returns, your last bad date can teach you a great deal about yourself and love.
1.Qualities you value
Every bad date you have ever been on has offered you countless clues about the qualities you value. The handsome hunk who lacked personality showed you how important having a sense of humour is to you. The promising date that didn’t amount to much, showed you that authenticity is high on your checklist.
Before you make plans to date anyone else, grab a piece of paper and a pen and list the qualities that you most value. Kindness, trust, honesty, respect, empathy and loyalty are the top common qualities that most people wish for in a romantic partner. When you’ve curated your list, use it to help you connect with love matches that align with your values.
On Chat2Date you can gain knowledge about how men and women think and feel about the dating game, without having to actually go on a date. Chatting and flirting with friendly folk from all over the UK can teach you how to spot a guy with an ambivalent attitude or wavering interest from a mile away. When you finally click with someone who displays multiple values on your qualities list, open up the communication and let the connection grow organically.
Emotional maturity
So many people have a bad dating experience because they’re simply not honest. Some people are just not ready to date – after a romantic relationship breakup or divorce – while others lack the emotional maturity to know what they actually want from a love connection. Unless you’re honest about your personal situation, with yourself and the person you’re currently flirting with, you’re likely to create the perfect setup for yet another bad date.
An emotionally mature person knows the importance of sharing all aspects of themselves with the person they are interested in pursuing. While being open to love is important, sharing your feelings, emotions and personal stuff with someone you’ve just met can make you instantly vulnerable. Until your new love interest shows clear signs that they’re worthy of your trust, keep your heart open but guarded.
Taking the lead
Having a quaint, traditional belief that a guy should always take the lead in moving a romantic connection forward could be the reason why dates with emotionally available men, in the past, never progressed beyond friendship. Good guys are respectful and careful about crossing the line, unless you give them the green light.
If he doesn’t think or feel that he has a chance with you, your hot crush may get comfortable being your buddy. Let him know it’s more than OK to step things up, by exercising your flirty seduction techniques, when you’re on a date with a potential suitor. Touch his arm briefly as you engage in flirty banter and playful teasing. Practice active listening, while maintaining good eye contact. Being confident in your use of open body language will let him know that you’re playing the game of dual pursuit.
In the reversal of roles, let her know that you’re interested in getting to know her better by paying attention to the information she shares with you, and making the conversation more personal. Ask her open-ended questions that demonstrate she has your undivided attention, when she shares her thoughts and experiences with you. Taking the lead in maintaining an authentic back-and-forth dynamic will give her the green light she’s hoping for.
Raising your standards
When you practice self-love you learn to value yourself in a manner that shows others your true worth. Therefore, it’s vital that you do not put up with anything that isn’t aligned with your self-worth. Making excuses for toxic behaviour, because you think someone is hot, guarantees a bad date experience you will never forget.
If a red flag pops up, don’t ignore it. Set an example by raising the bar on your standards and list of acceptable qualities. Trust yourself not to entertain bad behaviour or any nonsense from someone who doesn’t value you enough. It’s also important to be aware that your date will be on their best behaviour when you first meet. Some dealbreakers may not show up until your connection has progressed beyond the first few dates.
To avoid another bad date, don’t accept an invitation from anyone other than your perfect, aligned match. When you raise your standards, you naturally expect nothing but the best will do for you.
Taking time out
The most horrible, boring or bad date you’ve ever had can teach you that no one needs another person to complete them. If you feel something is missing from your life, take time out to explore within. Address underlying issues that are stopping you from feeling that you’re not lovable or good enough. Until you do this, you’ll continue to attract bad dates that mirror your lack.
Just because you’re single, it doesn’t mean that you have to be actively mingling and seeking a love partner all of the time, even if you do feel somewhat pressured by your married or hooked up friends. There’s nothing wrong with taking time out from the pursuit of love and romance, and enjoying life on your own.
Put your energy into self-reflection and learn about what makes you tick, and what you want in an intimate partnership. Chatting with people on Chat2Date, in the interim, will reflect your self-loving progress in a positive way.