Dating can be really difficult and it can be impossible to tell who is genuinely looking for a relationship and who is just looking for a hook up.
There are some often small tell-tale signs that someone isn’t really interested in you for you, so we’ve listed some red flags to look out for when you’re chatting to people.
They ask for your number immediately.
No one needs your number when you’re just chatting. Whether it’s on our text chat or one of our chat lines where you can quite easily communicate without revealing your number, there’s no reason for them to ask before you even really know each other.
We always advise not to give out your personal details including your phone number until you’re really comfortable.
They don’t take no for an answer.
Whether it’s asking for your number or asking you out, if they are too persistent or won’t take no for an answer, this is one of the quite big red flags.
Some of the most important things in a relationship are respect and boundaries and if someone doesn’t respect those from the start then there’s no real basis to build a friendship, let alone an intimate relationship with someone.
They only have one thing on their mind.
Yes, sex and intimacy are important in a relationship, but it’s not the most important thing. If someone immediately launches into anything like that… run!
You are more than just your looks. Someone you’re going to potentially spend your life with should like everything about you before intimacy is even on the table.
They aren’t open and honest with you.
Everyone has secrets. Everyone has things they’re not comfortable revealing. However, if they won’t tell you basic things, or things you feel are important in a relationship, it’s worth questioning why.
You need to set your own boundaries about what you’re comfortable with and there needs to be a discussion about what your expectations are.
Be very aware of someone who showers you with love, affection, gifts, or extravagant things at the beginning of a relationship. You might not notice it at first, but if it’s over the top this can be “love bombing”. This is where they lure you in by making you think they’re really lovely and kind and generous, but once you’re in a more settled relationship with them, their behaviour changes and you might end up feeling stuck.
Of course, someone might just genuinely be very generous!
They don’t want you to meet their friends/family.
This is quite a big red flag as there’s no genuine reason why they wouldn’t want you to meet their friends and family if they’re actually wanting a relationship with you.
They should want everyone to meet you and you to meet everyone they love, as this is a big step into cementing your relationship with each other and within each other’s family.
It’s normal to not want to go in too early, because you want to make sure the person is going to stick around before you introduce them, but if you’re a while into a relationship and they keep making excuses, there’s something not right.
Always be cautious when dating new people, and always be alert for any of these red flags.
Always make sure you talk about things and set clear boundaries and be honest with each other from the start.